albino (2) aspergers (10) awkward (6) Bearded dragon (6) beer (1) behavior (14) bettas (1) biology (3) boa (4) breeding (16) burmese (3) butchered (3) chihuahua (17) childless (1) chili (15) consumerism (2) cornsnake (1) crazy (7) cynical (14) dogs (9) ducks (1) dumpster diving (2) eggs (7) Fabuland (2) faceblindness (1) fail (13) flowers (2) food (1) freegan (2) frogs (1) frugal (2) funny (16) gecko (2) gratitude (1) hypo (1) iguana (4) insects (4) kids (1) kingsnake (1) lego (3) meerkats (1) molt (1) narcissism (2) nigrita (1) orange (2) pictures (2) plants (2) pools (1) public school (1) quotes (9) rosy boa (2) salvator (4) selfie (1) snake (9) snakes (4) Spider (2) sushi (1) tarantula (2) technology (1) tortoise (1) training (12) trains (1) tree (1) turtles (1) upland (7) varanus (6) water monitor (6) xmas (1)

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Brain wipes.

Sweet beans, I'm glad that's over.

I returned from frolicking in the trees, the bug less trees, but I digress, to find that the infants have vanished. This must be how parents feel with the kid finally, finally goes to their first sleepover. Som'where else of course.

We have a running joke here that the dogs are easier than kids, way easier. I mean, dog kids go willingly into their cages and don't poop in their pants. I think those two facts alone is enough qualification.

Well, having 4, trained dogs, is probably as much work as half a well behaved, decent aged in a kid that's old enough to pour their own cereal and dress themselves, my dogs are easier than that.

Puppies are not easier than that. Puppies are, mathematically between 3/4 to 2 1/2 times as much work as say, a two year old child. The three quarters puppy being robotically perfect, small sized and low energy and the 2.5 x puppy being a nipping, shitting, screaming, 80lb beast from hell.

I figured that the Muppet's were about a 3/4 of a two year old child, each.

So mathematically, I went from having less than one behaved human kid to essentially 2.25 human children. Human children that don't speak English, keep odd hours and eat doors

Thankfully my brain didn't explode, and all is normal now. Which brings in a new issue.

Wtf to do with myself.

Today I walked in circles, I cleaned, but not in a focused manner, I brushed a few cats, trained a dog or two, but mostly I ambled around going "what were my hobbies again??"

No wonder people do this puppy thing over and over. Motherhood gives you amnesia.

No comments:

Post a Comment