My autism is acting up again.
I guess thats how I can phrase it.
I've been working 50+ hours a week, not including the long commute. Which is very draining on any person.
I listen to NPR in the car and it removes the last bit of energy out of my exhausted mind.
I listen to music and MUST sing along, which exhausts me physically. Need six pack abs? Thats how I get 'em.
All while my head analyzes what happened at class. This seems to be an over stimulation problem, not an anxiety problem. I have these obessive play by play thoughts reguardless of what occurred and the tone of what occured.
I've been training A LOT of dogs, and people really. I love my clients. Honestly. I like many of them more than their dogs. Which is som'thing I feel insane saying.
Its just such an endless sea of ignorance though. I feel like I can't do enough.
I'm getting the mildest clients dog training has to offer philosophically. I mean, these people are already pre-screened for buy-in to the positive methods. I've heard the word "dominance" seriously twice, and both times it took a gesture and a sentence and they were back on board. I'm really really lucky in this, and honestly, I don't think I could do the job otherwise, I don't know how other trainers do it.
Sooo many reactive dogs. So many. So many well meaning, confused and frustrated owners. I feel for them, truely. Even when they come in yanking on the dog, you can see the exasperation on their face and the hopelessness in their voices. The frustration in the "what have you tried" conversation. These people love their dogs but are completely lost.
Anyway, just here to write down my thoughts. So I can leave them here, instead of thinking about them in the car while I sing myself into cramps.
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