The dragons are biting.

If it has a mouth...it bites.


Dogs bite, cats bite, shit...fish bite...HUMANS bite...ask any cop or preschool teacher...


I get this "does it bite?" question ALOT. I always say that if it has a mouth it can bite you...If its som'thing that tends to be docile, I say "these tend not to bite". I can not remember a time in recent years where I've told som'one an animal was not going to bite them, in an absolute :never: way.

I find myself, more and more pondering peoples motivations behind pets. I mean, I was one of them, so I can understand it on that level, but I have "moved on" in many ways...as in, I like to have animals, but the need to go out and actively acquire new ones is a need that has left me for the most part.

I once was a consumer. Iam still, technically a producer. Even though I have for the most part shunned my former breeding operations, I still produce animals professionally, and due to my "career" assist novices in producing animals. Helping the novices, tends to produce more ill feelings than me producing my own animals, due to the sheer number of people who have bad motivators...and then here Iam, being the one having to deal with aggressive offspring from aggressive parents, having to baby non feeder snakes, which can from parents that were likely non feeders, and having to find homes for, or euthanize animals born with birth defects, when their producers reject responsibility for them

Ah, to cull or not to cull. Iam all for culling, in the spay neuter sense. As in, this dog is not perfect, lets bar it from breeding, but spare its life, and find it a home. But in reptiles, its not so easy. I can't spay/neuter a bearded dragon, and no matter how well I screen people, every year, som' tool decides that that kinked tail shouldn't stop lizzy from having babies. Or the School teacher, that year after year, produced tiny, pathetic, weakling bearded dragons, that grew slowly, the great majority of them with birth defects, and me doing everything, from reasoning, to pleading with her, not to pair the parents anymore. Every year, I'd find her eggs in the incubator, until finally, exhasted, as female beardeds become from egg laying, the mother of the weaklings passed on.

And there in lies the other evil. Egg laying. I'd say 90+% of the female beardeds I've known have died in egg laying. They get old, they get thin and their bodies just can't push them out. Its inevitable. Those that don't die in egg laying, die of accidents, or being euthanized when disease strikes their aging bodies. Males die generally of kidney failure or obesity, tho they do get to live twice as long as the girls do.

I used to say I've been bitten by beardeds twice. I remember both times...one was a very skittish animal that a person saved from a classroom where the kids were caugh torturing it. It nailed me as I tried to examine it for health. It was scared out of its mind.

The second animal, was an animal that belonged to a customer, and he felt the need to retell you its pedigree every time they brought it into the store (which was often). Reminds me of the people who approach you with their dog and blurt out "shes a champion such and such, when you hadn't even noticed the animal yet.....Of course pedigrees in bearded dragons for the most part are simply pretty animals bred to pretty animals, selected for color or pattern mutations. Anyway, despite its pedigree, it was a rather mediore looking animal, and it nailed me as I held up a nail clipper. It gave no signals, it just bit me, let go and was fine. The top of my finger was not fine

but these two stories, while I say they are the only ones, really aren't. I get bitten by babies almost daily now...som'thing I couldn't have said 6 years ago. Baby beardeds seem to be becoming more and more aggressive as the years pass, I have also noticed an increase in flightly skittish animals. Beardeds so skittish, they are almost impossible to handle, and they take quite a bit of forced interactions to 'grow out of it".

I remember a specific group of leatherbacks imported from europe. I have never dealt with beardeds that were so aggressive at a juvenile age. Absolutely untrustworthy and "evil" as we called them. They weren't a hard sell tho, they were a rare morph, and no doubt every last one of them went on to reproduce.

I have seen birth defects increase, with a big peak around 2008, I see fewer today, but I think thats due to most of the novices no longer breeding, and have given away their adults.

Thats the other thing...where are all these dragons going? This year and last, people in mass gave up their pets. It was insane. It was like I missed the "everyone relinquish anything alive" memo. People poured in wanting to give up the animals they swore were family members...many people saying the reason was the animals babies could no longer fund the hobby...ironic since the majority of people who buy a bearded dragon or two are not thinking about breeding for money...yet, once they have, and the money flow stops, the animals are worthless to them

Ironically, the pet, the exotic pet, that makes people different, is slowly going the way of the poorly bred purebred dog.

I see many more bites in my future.

Things I learned this month

Emma had this photo taken at the dog park and uploaded to facebook, not by me, and I stumbled across it...I gather those feet belong to som' poor smuck being suckered into tossing that ball.


Jigantor will do anything for a cherry tomato. Like, anything. Its fish crack, she about jumped out of the tank at the sight of one


You can teach the gourami to spin in both directions on cue in less time that you can teach it to the crazy pomeranian.

The old cats like the new cat, whether they admit it or not

I really really want to build lego but don't ever seem too.

temps over 104 will fry your corn plants but not your tomatos *shrug*

The Critter can learn to sit, leave it, and focus, but can't seem to figure out stay to save her life.

I really need to start training other peoples dogs on the side, but Iam a chicken shit.


Kiwis allergies turned out to be a yeast infection

Critter is a tick factory, her new name is "The Tick"

I feel more and more unburdened as I sell off the last of the snakes

My neighbor refered to my side yard as "a jungle" so my mission is almost complete

How to be nicer to customers at work

the handgun gets heavy after about twenty minutes

Chickens think fig beetles are tasty

The new cat is a circus performer

Peppers can dance just fine...

their owner however has two left feet and a sore back....



A very sore back. I went yesterday to a Canine Freestyle seminar...teaching routine ideas...som'thing I very much needed since Iam not very good as coming up with my own stuff unless a gun is to my head. I need to see it, decide I like it, and then I can teach it.

I dont' just like training... the finished result, but the process too, as I know the dogs like the process, but I do suffer from motivation problems. The human side of me wants to go "look! Look what I did!" but then the other human side of me thinks that no one genuinely cares and is humoring me.

I don't really even like working the dogs in public around non dog people, even if the comments aren't rude, if the comments are wrong, they bother me. A guy in petco yesterday saw me working Chili outside (just sits and downs) and then when he walked by Chili pulled towards him to sniff him. I didn't say or do anything to stop him except hold the leash and the guy made a comment about how he'll get there and learn not to pull....or something to that effect...I guess he thought I was training him not to pull???? Either way it was a wtf moment and I thought, really thought about how unperceptive the public is at the obvious.

Anyway, back to the seminar...there were five dogs, plus the trainers dogs and everyone, for the most part was very well behaved. Chili had a couple of TINY outbursts, mostly confined to dogs outside the fence and once or twice to the husky that despite instructions not to, kept wandering into our space.

He took all the tasks in stride and was like "um, ok more?" and there were a few moments where I lost him to the grass sniffing and the fact the trainers had better treats than me...

That said, he also did a hoop jump no problem despite never having seen one before, and doing a down stay and not getting upset for long periods of time (new also). His spin and turn for whatever reason fell apart but I can get that back easy.

So its a bit harder to "dance" with your dog that I thought, the fact he was a small dog just added to it, and the fact he can't do much jumping added to it..firstly, you feel like a retard dancing in front of people. Secondly, having to dumb down cues in the beginning, meant I had to be hunched over alot to keep him with me. And thirdly, I can't dance very well anyway, adding a dog and a clicker and having to keep moving, keep it interesting is HARD.

Despite feeling like a fool, I got lots of positive feedback. I was, once again encouraged to become a professional myself, which meant alot to me considering the sources.

I got to meet the "famous" (to me anyway) Splash and Tug. Tug is a firecracker, springs in his feet and is just an interesting dog to look at, he reminded me of a mouse (in a cute, good way) as he stared a hole in my head looking for treats. Hes much smaller than I imagined, more Tippy sized (longer legged tho) than the Chili size I imagined.

Splash was intense. Maybe its just a border collie thing, I wouldn't know, I've met three now and two ignored me. But I stood to close and a couple times Splash stopped in mid trick to stand there and look at me. You could tell she was figuring me out. Kinda a "I can see through you" mixed with "hi! Iam Splash". Very cute :) She was also smaller than I imagined , and I told her so, while she stared at me.

Anyway, I felt comfortable tho, I was not worried about som'one spraying Chili in the face while I wasn't looking, wasn't worried about having to explain what a clicker was and how it worked, wasn't worried som'one wouldn't understand his reactivity, wasn't worried I wouldn't fit it. It felt wonderful, Iam still on a high note emotionally today.

Time to go train som' dogs. :)

Revelations

no not the book.



Chili had a rather uncharacteristic revelation today whilst at the outdoor mall. It went som'thing like this...


Wait a minute. Wait...wait...all these people...they are here... to see ME.



Truth be told they were not there to see Chili (please don't tell him, he'll be crushed), but this did not stop him from turning into a complete happiness retard.


He developed that whole body butt wiggle you only tend to see in pit bulls and labs and when that wasn't enough to convey his emotions, he got zoomies. Happiness zoomies.

He then ellicted play from me, right in the center of this busy place, hundreds of people, cars, music over loudspeakers, screaming kids, bikes, dogs, you name it.... and my reactive dog tried to play with me.


part of me, when I re read that, knows I should be crying tears of joy, but I am honestly still in shock...there was a pom twenty feet away barking at him and he was trying to ellict attention from strangers. At night time to boot. Hes afraid of the dark, this is only his second training session in a dark place.

I mean, I knew this training stuff would work. I knew I could convince him things/people aren't scary, that I could teach him to ignore them no matter what, and to tolerate these things.

I never, in a million years thought he'd genuinely LIKE these things because of training...I mean, I knew it could happen, but Chili is so "selective" hes fearful, and when hes not fearful, hes a snob, he doesn't throw himself at anyone but me and recently Cheryl.

Well...now I supposed I have a different problem now...the problem of the OMG I want to meet you! Which is not som'thing I really have much practice in dealing with. I know how, just never thought I'd need it.

Crazy dog, I wish he'd make his mind up already!

Perhaps Dumb dog is not dumb. Perhaps slow human is slow.

I have been.


dun dun dun


training Critter.


*gasP*



I've had this dog for, oh three years now, and shes, well. Slow.


Iam not a very verbal person with my dogs, that is generally an advantage, but in this case perhaps not. I prefer using a mechanical marker for behaviors (ie Clicker) and for Chili I will occasionally use a "yes" but I prefer the clicker honestly. I just don't like talking I guess.

Critter decided long ago she wanted NOTHING to do with this clicker shit. Not for anything or anyone. Not for roast beef, not for chicken. She would run away and pant and shake like a dog on july fourth (ironically, july forth does not bother her)

When she went on antianxiety meds, this reduced a bit, so she no longer had siezures when I clicked, she simply ran as far away as she could and jammed herself in a corner.

This presents many annoying dilemas for me.

One...I can't clicker train her. Obviously. And yes I have tried introducing it at low level barely audible. She freaks.

two...I can no longer just carry a clicker and use it whenever, if I do I risk her being afraid of EVERYTHING

three...she can hear it through TWO DOORS. So That means, having to put her away and train whoever I want in another room. She also still freak out. So I still have to deal with a freaking out dog.


So, lately, I have dabbled in training the dumb one. Her meds have made her functional, so I began to teach her to "touch". This was a task and a half, but she got it. Then she began to offer a "cheating" touch...like...i'll get 1/2 inch from your hand and pull away. I NEVER reinforced this. I'd just ask for another touch and if she did it again, walked away. YET she continued and still continues to do this.

This really hurts my brain at this point. We have worked on this for MONTHS, and i have NEVER treated her after doing this behavior, but she still, on a regular basis offers it. And then she'll get like five in a row right, so I reinforce...and then she gets stupid again. Each time looking at me expectantly for a treat, fully believing she got it correct.

She also can't seem to, three days in, learn to "go to her mat" on cue. It has been AGONY trying to teach this...she just doesn't get it. She will look like it for like three reps...then it falls apart.

I begin to ponder brain damage possiblities.


then I was reading. Karon pryor talks about a thing one of her porpoises used to do...she'd dart in the gate, then back out again...expecting a fish. This was annoying, and frustrating...but mostly, she could not figure out WTH the dolphin was thinking...i mean, they never reinforced the darting back out, and they reinforced the going in heavily...why the heck was this happening.

Timing.


Turns out, a split second timing mistake created this. The dolphin has misunderstood and thought he had it right. They corrected the timing mistake and the behavior went away.


Then my lighbulb went on. Maybe Critter wasn't stupid...but maybe my verbal marker was not conditioned with her yet...in fact I had been kind of sloppy with it...marking a half momment late because I wasn't "serious" about training this dog. Turns out Critter is the one with the program and Iam the moron. The more I thought about it the more it made sense, I was marking the pulling away form my hand, not the touch, just that half second created a pulling away behavior...she thinks the pulling away is what Iam trying to mark.


Clever dog.

Bad human. Bad.

Why Iam done...part 1

why I am done...

Hiring trainers.


I've had three runs ins with trainers that I am paying to advise me on my dog...I did attend a seminar, that I adored, but I don't count that..:p

Once upon a time I tried getting Emma into agility. I was confident I could train the whole shebang myself, but didn't want to spend the money on the equipment. Mostly, more than anything I wanted to connect with other "dog people" in the real world, and also a dog trainer, because at that point in my life, I idolized most dog trainers, and had not learned that just because they were positive dog trainers, I may not like their methods.

I could not get into a class due to my sched, so I did the next best thing and hired a well known trainer, to do privates with Em and I at her facility. When I showed her list of acomplishments to people online, they were impressed and jealous that I was going to get to work with someone so talented.

I personally, very much enjoy researching people before and after I meet them, I read this womans profile on her site, read reviews and studied her picture with her dogs, I felt like I knew her a bit, so that way i'd be more comfortable.

As the day approached, I was increasingly nervous. I felt more like I was going to be meeting a celebrity than a dog trainer. So then I meet the woman.

She looked NOTHING like her picture, she was also a lot older than I anticipated, like THIRTY years older, its not like it was a younger picture either, there was zero resemblance. The tall, thin blonde I thought I was meeting was a short, elderly woman.

Nevertheless I still was polite and told her I was EXTREMELY nervous, so to pardon me. She seemed friendly, but not overly impressed with me or my dog. Just a casual, "Hi lets go back here"

Then it starts, I am a mental mess and my perfect dog says, "screw this jazz, moms nutty" and all the intense focus is gone. She begins to pull and wander and not bother to check in with me, then it happens.

The flies.

God must hate me, but he bestowed Emmas sworn enemies on us that day. The only thing this ball obsessed dog is more obsessed over, is flies.

The trainer then asks me to run Em through all her behaviors. I struggle to get her attention and I run her quickly through about 4-5 tricks, she does them for me, but immediately goes back to obsessing over the bugs. I am so nervous at this point, you'd think I was being attacked by a bear.

the trainer acts unamused and says pretty much nothing, she then takes us to the field were she tells me to run Em over these raised planks on the ground (like mini jumps) she gives no instructions really, just do it and reward when you are done.

So I run her over them, she tries to escape briefly and then I am told in a simplistic monotone voice what I did wrong, and to do it again. So I try to do it again, ommitting my mistakes only to be told again what I did not do right, no tips or hints on HOW not to do those things, just don't do that.

after about three tries and three failures, she takes us out to this tire jump and we take turns calling Em back and forth through it. At about the fifth time through she finally gets a bit of personality and exclaims "oh wow! Shes so operant" which, is dog training slang for a dog that readily OFFERS behaviors.

 I remember making a face and thinking "no shes not... Are you high?" Em is the least operant dog I know...and calling her back and forth and slapping our hands to prompt her was hardly anything like a dog that offered a tire jump with no promps/cues. I took it as a compliment but wondered how the trainer could get this wrong.

then she decided that we should learn front crosses and rear crosses. I kinda wonder why she had us try so many things in that first fifteen mins, I think she was trying to find something I could function at, as I was still so nervous I was dropping things, stumbling over words and had lost my dogs attention. She kept talking to me in the slow, monotonous, simplistic lingo you use on a 3 year old that you just caught doing something bad. This did not help, because now I was positive she thought I was a moron.

I could not do the crosses to save my life...you have to run in a huge half circle, watch your dog, click at the right moment, and then throw your reward in the right spot....all this coupled with the fact it was 90 degs that day and the field was small and littered with agility equipment that I was certain I was going to plow into . I could barely run a straight line, let alone do this thing she hadn't explained well. And once again, she pointed out what I did wrong and when I would do it right, she'd say "good" in a simplistic tone, like I was three and she was faking it.

She also, the entire time, kept clicking for me. Which was honestly unneccessary and, in hindsight, insulting. I could see if I was missing things, but the one thing I did maintain, was my awesome timing. I have great timing and did not see any reason for her to click ontop of my click, I wasn't missing clicks.

She then pulled us aside and explained hand targeting over the course of what seemed like 5-10 mintutes...For contrast, you can explain this to an owner and have the dog doing the behavior in under five minutes. She talked slow and simple like I was a caveman who maybe spoke japanese.

So we go home. I feel like a tool, dog learned nothing, I am out thirty bucks.

Second session, week later. This time, I am less nervous, more like being attacked by a raccoon than a bear. She asks about the "homework" which was the crosses, and I was honest with her, my husband was out of town for four days, it was triple digits all week, I have a full time job and a puppy under six months old, I had not worked on them. I told her this was an exceptional week and I was not a slacker, but I had worked on the other stuff.

She was irritated for a moment, then said nothing and pulled out a mat and explained we were going to train "go to your mat"

I am at this point, beginning to question the heck out of this in my mind. Why are we moving on to more and more exercises without mastering anything? Why are we not staying on the exercises long enough to have success? Why? why? why? WTF.

She then explains to me, we are going to free shape the entire behavior. That means no prompts, no cues, no help, just click the dog for steps toward the right answer.

Finally I speak up. I had told her before that Em does not free shape yet, and that she will only offer her default if not given directions. The trainer disreguarded this and insisted we free shape.

so for twenty minutes I get closer and closer to tears as my poor dog (who is focused this time) stares at me waiting for me to show her wth I want. She never gets it. She eventually gives up and walks away from me.

I tried to help her once, by pointing at the mat and the trainer instantly jumped on me, I was not to help her, and that me helping her was a PROBLEM, the reason she can't do things is I don't allow her to make decisions. This confuses the heck out of me, because first of all, Emma did not have "problems" and I think I know my dog. The only problem at this point is you not letting me help her.


We go home. I cry in the car on the way.

The next day I teach her to go to her mat. Not just that, she lays on it, stays on it, and will go to it from up to ten feet away, sit, then down and stay until released, all in under five minutes. Gee whiz, what problems this dog has :p

I email the trainer and explain what I did, and to question why it was important to her the behavior be shaped in the way she insisted. She ignored my email and instead asked if I could reschedual my next appointment. I fired her.

I guess I did learn though....but the intention was for the dog to learn. Don't click for others (unless they say its ok) don't talk to people like they are vegetables, don't try and train agility in mid july, and don't decide you like som'one before you talk to them. That last one will disapoint you heavily if it doesn't pan out.

Coin tossing

I remember being six years old. I remember kindergarden, and first grade. I can see the classrooms and the chalkboards. I can remember what direction the rooms faced in context to the rest of the building. I can remember the girl who sat a little to the front and side of me, had no fingernails...and that creeped the heck out of me.

I remember my first "nap time". They had us drag out these blue mats and lay them down, and then the teacher commanded us to nap. I remember being confused and like I did for much of my early years in school, I just watched the others and copied them, no questions asked. I laid on my mat.

I remember laying there, and the window over the other kid next to me shoulder. I remember all the kids closing their eyes. I remember thinking they had all done this before and I hadn't. I remember thinking "sleeping? now? Its daytime. Theres no blanket. Um Ok".

So I pretended to nap.

strangely I only remember this first nap experience. Surely we did this daily for over a year, but I only remember this one time. In fact, once I closed my eyes to "fake nap" the memory disapates. I don't recall getting up to put the mat away.

I often think about why I remember what I do. I have really bad memory problems. Both short and long term. I remember images, places and faces, but I dont' remember why. I can see a person and recognize them, but not remember our previous convo. I can remember going to a place with friends, but not which friends went with me.

So we come to the coins.

In first grade they begin to teach you about money. They have these paperboard coin photos you pop out and you can move them around on your desk. I remember them like it was yesterday. The texture, the wieght of them. The way the little preforations left bumps on the edges. I recall them being darker than their real counterparts.

But then I think, why do I remember these things so well? Like the mat and the nap, there was an emotional association that was strong so they imprinted on me. Confusion.

For som' reason I didn't understand the concept of money well at 6. When som'one says "the nickel is five" I had no idea what that meant. My interpretation of this explaination was "the nickel HAS A FIVE ON IT" at least I think thats what I thought...In fact I mostly remember being frustrated at my little paper nickels. Heres why.

My mom.

Yup, you guessed it, my first "blame my mom" post. Long time comming I suppose.

I remember her distinctly being mad and frustrated with me that I couldn't get this easy concept. I vividly remember her behind me at the table, hovering over me, jabbing her finger at the paper coins expressing her displeasure in me because I couldn't get it. I remember som'thing along the lines of "your smart, ugh why can't you get this, you must be messing with me" being said.

I most certainly was not "messing" with her, or being stubborn. Or trying to make her angry. Making her angry scared me at 6. I was trying, but I just wasn't getting it.

I did one day obviously learn to count money. Iam a cashier and a half now and count money so fast it would make your head spin. Som' one else must have taught me, probably my teacher, or another student. I do not for the life of me remember how, when or where I got it. But I still, at 28 can vividly remember failing at it.

I suppose then, confusion creates memories. They can be neutral, or very aversive, I suppose they can be positive also. I try to remember these things when I teach things to people and animals. They learn faster that way.

One must be careful when training sensitive beings. They may remember stuff you don't want them too.