Im honor a Sammi Eggs...

I figured I'd post pics of lil' Fran(k?) hatching in April 2012. She bit the living hell out of me moments after the last pic.

Shes now about 3 feet, tame and sassy. I'll get a pic next time she sits still for a nanosecond.

Sammi eggs.

Sammi had 12 eggs today. The ones that looked good went into the incubator. I've hatched Varanus Salvator before and am currently waiting for Sammi's last egg to hatch from Oct.

This species is rarely bred in captivity and just gazing upon eggs is already a rare privilage.

Shes been antsy pantsy diggy glass dancy for about two weeks now and either off food or not very hungry. I'm glad shes finally done. She does this every 6 months or so.

If these hatch they will be clones via parthenogenesis. Which would be extra badass.

Fingers crossed.

Job Opening; Must enjoy Feces.

There is a joke I always make, well not really a joke, more of a truth I poke fun at on a regular basis.. Whenever people apply to any animal related job they always put "I love animals" on the application. Som' girls even get cutesy and put little hearts. This is followed generally with a list of their pets, I suppose to really prove that they "love animals"

The longer the list, the more they seem to think this proves they "love animals". The person reading the application may even be duped into this. WOW this person is perfect! They really LOVE animals, look they have 50 of them!

Its at this point I want to remove my ears. Generally with plastic spoons. Your application is gagworthy, and let me tell you why.

Firstly, if you're putting "I love animals" on an application to a petstore. You are an unoriginal idiot. At petsmart we would have STACKS of applications, all staying the same thing in that same space. I LUVZ DEMS. Way to stand out of the crowd. We'd actually pull the two or three out of the stacks of hundreds that said som'thing different and call those people, no matter how crap the rest of the ap was.

Its also a pretty obvious statement isn't it? If you were applying for a mechanic position, would you put "I LOVE CARS"? Or at a grocery store "OMG I JUST LUVS FUD"

Sounds moronic now right?


Secondly, here is what I hear when I hear (lol) "I love animals"


"I HATE PEOPLE ".


Or...

"Im socially retarded and can't make friends so I have pets instead"


keep in mind, both these things are valid life choices. I used to describe myself as "hating people" at various crossroads. But here's the thing, tell me you hate people on an application for retail I get images of conversations gone awry and me having to babysit you. I'm not maternal. I barely want to train you and explain where the bathroom is. I don't want to have to re-raise you and teach you how to talk to and/or be polite to people. Teaching you to interact with humans was your parents job, and if they failed, guess what? You're an adult now and its your responsibility. Congrats.

I don't want to have to save you from pushy or irrate customers because you have no backbone because the only real world convos you have had are with fluffy and whiskers. I was socially retarded at one point too, but I fixed it. You should get on that.

In short, you are either rude or a doormat, most likely.


The other thing that statement doesn't tell me, is how you feel about feces, blood, death, bedding, food for the animals etc. Petsmart would actually hire people who "loved animals" but were too squeemish to clean up after them. Or too lazy. These questions were conveniently left out at interview time, probably because the moron manager "loves animals" just as much as you do.

Another note is, as it turns out "I LOVE ANIMALS" 99% of the time is a conditional statement. Oh why o' why must you all lie to me? Conditional As in "I love the furry animals" Or I love snakes, but not frogs" or "I love the animals that are friendly but the aggressive ones leave me wimpering" etc etc.

 I'm sorry, to me "I love animals" means, I love all animals with either no or very rare exception. If you can't pick up a roach, or restrain a guinea pig, I have news for you Steve Irwin, you should be working the register.


So in closing, next time you see that space that says "why do you want to work here" say som'thing about your work ethic. Your punctuality. Your ability to get along with coworkers etc.

Or be humorous and just flat out say you like cleaning feces, being bitten, and dealing with ignorant people all day for a living. Because honestly, thats the job you're really applying for. ;)

Bozo the Dirt Clown

Laying eggs and making balloon animals.

Thinking about...

Had a no show today. Thinking about...

Running to chipotle

That last clients dog was adorable...

Trains. 484 steam engine...

Fabuland moc unfinished...

The doodle next to me has a deep bark and a stupid haircut...

Buddhism...

Should go say hi to Benny and his owner...

Telling myself not to make permanent decisions based on temp. emotions

I miss Tippy.

That is all.

Nola and Chili

Are friends <3

Meerkats.

If you've never watched a documentary on Meerkats. You are missing out on one of the great joys in life.

I've been around alot of animals in my day, so finding som'thing I'll ooogle and ZOMG CUTE over is quite the task. Its been probably well over a year since I've felt the urge to squee and squeeze.

But then I saw the back of their fuzzy little heads. ZOMG CUTE I WANT ONE.

I have a thing for the backs of animals heads, I could stare at the back of Chili's head forever if he'd just sit still for a damn second. The ears need to be alert though, and that usually precedes running after som'one or things.

 Chili taught himself to "sit pretty" years ago, during my failed attempt to teach it to Kiwi. It not a very impressive trick IMO, but it is perhaps the cutest. Perhaps thats why its becoming so popular lately.

It used to be that I'd lay down and relax and Chili would permit it. Temporarily.

When my time was up and he wanted me to get up let him out, give him a chewie or just entertain his bored butt, he would paw at me. Annoying.

Then when this didn't work, he'd lay down and then vocalize at me. If this didn't work he go back to plan A and paw at me some more.

This went on for years.

Then, somehow he began to Rolodex and do other tricks. I'd generally ignore him, but apparently, more often then not, I'd get up when he'd "sit pretty".

I know this because its now his "go to" behavior for "I want something that you can't give me from where you are". He only does this in that context. Other things, opening doors, handing him this or that, do not elicit "sit pretties".


He's even learned to do it in front of the TV. Blocking the view.

"Get up hooman, lazy hooman, I want xyz. NOW."


 So I guess I got the meerkat I asked for...

 A spicy, demanding, manipulative meerkat.