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Thursday, May 23, 2013

Next Blog, Less Poop. Please.

About once a year I hit the "next blog" button at the top of the page. As many times as I can bare to before my eyes begin to burn.

I do it mainly to see what others are up to. Maybe I'm missing som'thing? Maybe that awesome blog I've been looking for is just a click away! Others like me? Maybe!

Yeah right.

 I look at the page and take note of my initial, unfiltered, viseral reaction. Typically it is one of the following reactions:

Too bright

Looks cheesy

Text too big

Pic too big

Wall of text

Hence why I have a dark colored blog and try to not giant text you to death and create lots of paragraphs.  I try to be short and use pictures. No one has time to read novels on the web.

I understand that not everyone has an eye for web design or color or art. I understand that most people aren't even thinking "does this look good to others besides me?"

but heres the part I take issue with.,, The content of 90%+ of the blogs I find seem to be of the following

About babies

About being a mommy

About fashion

About shopping/getting nails/hair done. 

About baby fashion

OMg LooK Little Jr Pants got her first hair Did.

I know I can not possibly be alone in the reaction of GAG GAG GAG. That said I certainly seem to be a minority in this blogsphere. 

Are peoples lives really so consumed with being consumers and shitting out kids that thats all we care about as a society anymore?  At least all that women seem to care about?

I understand that parents that are dedicated to their kids must think they are awesomesauce, but at the same time I can't help but feel like they are zombies if the only thing they can write about is their kid shitting themselves in a new designer dress.

It would be like me writing about Chili if he never accomplished anything. A blog about my dog shitting in the yard and wearing a fancy bandana  (complete with piczees!) would obviously be unreadable, yet I see the parallel all over the web.

For example: Here some blog excerpts I found at random and I simply replaced their kid with my dog. Wacky mad libs style.

I will have you notice that no where on this list is Bow Wow... when Chili was about 16 weeks old he barked Bow Wow for about a week straight but hasn't barked since... I am starting to think that he doesn't like me. LOL!

And now for fashion.

Round bandanas look good on most breeds - the key is making sure your bandanas aren't too big. Too big round bandanas can look Mutty and not trendy especially when you add embellishments like biscuits, clickers, and other toys. Make sure to check out my Bandanas at the dog park guide for finding the right fabric for your breed. Adding a pair of round balls, PLUS a pair of standard bandanas can upgrade your purebred look.
For this week's outfit, I built off the round bandana trend for 2013 and added some other single coated trends. This is definitely a fun outfit for a weekend event at the dog park.

And both now.

I know none of you have started to notice that Chili is at a crossroads when it comes to hair styles. To no fault of his own he has started to develop a Mohawk... ok maybe it is more of a Mullet. He doesn't have very much hair on the top of his back but a good amount on the tail, that seems to get longer everyday. Now if I continue to let this grow I going to have to live with the lasting effects it could have on Chili when he gets older and sees that I let him run around with a puppy Mohawk Mullet.

My only regret is I had to read posts these to make this happen.

Anyway. I promise to not blog about my dogs cute bowel movements if all you fashionista Mommies would find a hobby on top of obsessing about your toddler. You don't even have to give it up, just quit blogging about it so much. The subject has been covered to death, you wont add anything new and important. Humanity can get by just fine without the narative of babys first babbles. Trust me.

There are other important things in life besides reproduction, despite what your genes are telling you.


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