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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

nighttime wanderings

Once again, I find myself fuming (well twitching would be a better term) over liars. This time its not the "I didn't steal that" when you really did type, but more of the "I'm nice to your face but I really don't like you" type.

Im very accustomed to people disliking me. I mean, aspergers doesn't do you any favors in the friendship department, and my lack of interest in anything that isn't my interests, tends to turn most people off. I don't blame people for avoiding, or even mild dislike. I dislike loud people, so it would make sense that loud people wouldn't like the near mute.

Hate is a strong word. I only use it when its glaringly obvious that its in jest. I don't really hate anyone. I tend to more more towards "that person is stupid/idiot/moron" than "I hate them, lets slash their tires!" To me, being stupid is the worst fate one can have, so they can have it, and keep their tires. I can buy new ones..

Im just wondering where my moral set on this one comes from. I lied as a kid, all kids do...and then it evaporated, kinda like childhood and dreams of being an astronaut (this evaporated later)

How to respond is my dilemma. Im so analytical, how do I fix this? I'd assume extinction through lack or reinforcement is probably the best route...but one can only stop talking to so many people before your alone and a cat lady. Less chance of being a victim comes to mind, but im not one to kiss peoples rears...

So where to go, were to find humor in this? I find madness in it. Mad people laugh so they don't cry. Maybe its time to watch som' stand up, snuggle a dog, and reassess my priorities.

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